From my understanding, something like a Vision Statement requires the integration of a person’s motivations and personal values with their professional interests.  In a sense, you can’t have an effective Vision Statement with understanding and accepting yourself and your place in life.  If you’ve ever seen Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, he describes the various stages of human need in a pyramid.  At the very top is the concept of self-actualization, whereby only after fulfilling all of the needs below is a person able to “realize his potential” and “give back to society” in an effort to become a moral, creative, mature human being.  So from what I can see, you pretty much have to have reached that top section of the pyramid in order to even think about writing a Vision Statement.

I can honestly say that I’m not there yet.  I don’t think I’ve ever been there.  Someone who counsels people told me that you’ll never be able to help others if you haven’t finished helping yourself.  It’s why I go into this assignment with such concern.  I could lie, say that I know myself and know exactly what I want out of my life, say that I know exactly how I plan to integrate my degrees and address the needs of population health.  I could say that I know exactly what I value and what motivates me.  I could lie, or I could just say that beyond the most general things – life, family – I don’t know what I value or what serves as a motivator for me, and that beyond knowing that I probably don’t want to spend all of my working years in the clinic after having my “eyes opened” through this HC&P program, I don’t know in what capacity I best want to utilize these dual degrees.

What I do know is that for the majority of my life, one thing has never changed:  I want to help people.  It’s my passion and it’s the one thing I have right.  If I can have a vision without being sure of who I am and without knowing what I value, then that is my vision: simply to make lives better for the people I come in contact with.  As I’ve said many times, pursuing an MD seemed the most logical choice for me to pursue my passion, with my interest in how things work, my love for science, and my fascination with medicine since I was a little kid.  I still haven’t figured out in what capacity I wish to continue though.  At first I kept thinking specialize.  Now my mind is set on more general practice, maybe not even being a full-time clinician if I can find other roles in the health care field where this dual degree can be better utilized.  However, neither of those ideas can be considered my true calling.  I’m afraid I won’t be able to figure that out until I figure myself out, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to figure myself out just for this statement.

I do feel hopeful, though.  While motivation has wavered due to outside forces, the passion has never dissipated.  The one value that I place on the happiness and satisfaction of others has never disappeared.  The feeling that this career direction is the closest thing to right that I can think of has always stayed with me.  And so here I stand, knowing but not knowing, hoping to one day figure it all out, but being comforted in the assurance that both my life goals and future career remain safe.